“Enter into children’s play, and you will find the place where their minds, hearts, and souls meet.”
Virginia Axline, pioneering play therapist
I smile as I see a child covered in gaudy Play-Doh jewelry, laughing with delight while decorating both of her parents with Play-Doh. The parents can’t stop giggling. As a play therapist, these are the moments I live for when working with families using play therapy. A casual observer wouldn’t know it, but just a month ago, this family was at an impasse. The parents were struggling to understand why their child was having meltdowns each day before dinner. Now the child was following the parents’ lead and collaborating. Where once the child struggled to allow the parents to provide structure, now the child was gleefully participating in parent-led games — and this translated into other areas of their home life.
How did we get from point A, daily meltdowns, to point B, the smiling and the laughing?
The simple act of play. In my work with families, I utilize several interventions to teach parents structured, therapeutic ways of playing to support their relationship and work on behaviors at home. Parents learn to conduct therapeutic play sessions at home that help their child feel safe, express their emotions, learn emotional regulation, and boost social skills.
How does it work?
Play shifts a child’s brain into the optimal learning mode. When interactions are joyful and engaging, the child’s sense of threat is less likely to be triggered. Play can offer an inviting, neutral space to begin to shift entrenched patterns.
How do play sessions benefit the whole family?
Play is not just for parents and kids who struggle. The other children in the family who are holding it together benefit from these play sessions too. They identify their feelings and find their voice, which can often get overshadowed when they have a sibling who is struggling.
What benefits does play offer for all families?
A myriad of studies confirm that spending child-led, one-on-one time with each of your children boosts their emotional well-being and builds your bond. Then, when challenges do arise (and every family will experience some), these gains better equip you to manage them together. Dr. Mona Delahooke, a veteran child psychologist, notes after decades of research, “The simple truth is that joyful connections with caregivers supports optimal emotional development.”
Is play only beneficial for children?
Absolutely not. Play is for everyone! Adults need play too, especially when life becomes challenging. Play has been shown to reduce stress in people of all ages. A side bonus of the work that I do with families is seeing the ways children can help their adults access their inner playfulness — and seeing the adults feel lighter and happier.
A few tips for incorporating play
- Set aside dedicated time to play with your child for 20–30 minutes each week. Keep it on the same day and time so your child knows when it is happening. Keep it simple: allow your child to pick what to play with, and join in.
- Play classic games like Mother May I and Red Light, Green Light. They help children with structure and impulse control, and bring a lot of laughs and fun.
- Build a fort. Forts can give your child a sense of safety and fun on a hard day.
- Attend one of our featured play groups or workshops. These fun experiences, curated by play therapists, will help get the juices flowing, create lasting memories, and give you practical takeaways you can use at home.
- Reach out to me to schedule family play therapy at vanessalpc.com/contact.
Vanessa Mortillo, LPC, RPT, is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Registered Play Therapist who supports children, teens, and families through playful, relationship-centered therapy. To connect, call 267-507-4795 or visit www.vanessalpc.com.
